Volume > Issue > The News You May Have Missed: May 2024

The News You May Have Missed: May 2024

To Jupiter & Beyond

NASA is sending a “message in a bottle” to one of Jupiter’s moons in its quest to find alien life (New York Post, March 12). The Europa Clipper will blast off in October and in six years will orbit Jupiter, making 49 flybys of its moon Europa while dispatching a steady stream of 2.6 million soundwaves of humans saying their own names. Europa shows strong evidence beneath its icy crust of an ocean over twice the volume of all Earth’s oceans combined and could have conditions to support life. The spacecraft’s vault plate will feature an etching of U.S. Poet Laureate Ada Limón’s “In Praise of Mystery: A Poem for Europa”; a portrait of Ron Greeley, one of the founders of planetary science; a reference to the radio frequencies considered plausible for interstellar communication; waveforms for the word water in 104 languages; and the Drake Equation, the mathematical formulation created to estimate the possibility of finding advanced civilizations beyond Earth. “The plate combines the best humanity has to offer across the universe — science, technology, education, art, and math,” said Lori Glaze, director of NASA’s Planetary Science Division. “The message of connection through water, essential for all forms of life as we know it, perfectly illustrates Earth’s ties to this mysterious ocean world.”

 

A Match Made in the Head

A Kentucky couple recently celebrated their nuptials — in a gas-station restroom. Logen Abney and Tiana Ailstock said “I do” inside the men’s room at a HOP Shop in Verona. “I didn’t want to just get married in a typical chapel, or you know, go to the church,” Ailstock told Fox News (March 4). “I wanted something fun to tell my kids.” She decided the perfect place was the disco-centric bathroom at the local HOP Shop, which features a colorful light display at the press of a button. The bride made her own aisle in the gas station’s convenience store leading to the men’s restroom, which overflowed with friends and family. What did the groom think? “I was like, well, it’s definitely going to be kind of different, but kind of cool, too, because like I said, ‘I ain’t never been in a gas station bathroom where you can push a button and disco lights come on,’” Logen recounted. Instead of ending their vows with “You may kiss the bride,” the two pressed a big red button that activated the disco scene and played “Forever and Ever, Amen” by Randy Travis.

 

Ratting Out the Cops

Rats that managed to get into an evidence room in a decaying police building have been eating confiscated marijuana (Sky News, March 14). The aging offices of the New Orleans Police Department are so dilapidated and vermin-infested that the rodents got into the evidence lock-up room and are “eating our marijuana, they’re all high,” said Police Superintendent Anne Kirkpatrick. “The uncleanliness is off the charts.” Rat droppings have been found on officers’ desks, and the building, where the department has been based since 1968, harbors mold and cockroaches. The station’s demoralized staff also cope with broken air-conditioning and elevators, and potential recruits are put off when coming for interviews. Kirkpatrick praised the department’s office cleaning staff, who “deserve an award for trying to clean what is uncleanable.” Finding new premises for the 900-plus officers has been a priority since she became chief this past October. City councilors are considering a proposed $7.6 million, ten-year lease at a downtown high-rise as temporary police headquarters.

 

Enjoyed reading this?

READ MORE! REGISTER TODAY

SUBSCRIBE

You May Also Enjoy

The News You May Have Missed

Role Models... No Girls Allowed... Mutinous Monks... Cartoon Priesthood... King for a Day... Grand Opening... Alien Rock...

The News You May Have Missed: June 2022

Diversity Dummies... Dissecting for Dollars... Pay with the Hand... Fangs for Your Service... Hello, Dolly... Robodog in the Ruins... and more

The News You May Have Missed

Head of the Outhouse... A Stormy Life... A Kidney for an Apple... Non-Physical Education... Ringing in His Ears... Poverty, Chastity & What?... Rapture Bucks... Like a Good Neighbor... and more