Consistently Pro-Choice

I had a wild and strange dream last night – or at least I think it was a dream. Believe it or not, I dreamt that President Reagan switched his position on abortion and became a dedicated supporter of choice! The amazing thing is how logical it all seemed.

The way I dreamt it was that the President was making a statement to TV cameras from the Oval Office:

“…And so I have concluded that every argument I can consider points me toward a pro-choice stance. It’s the only one consistent for me. For instance, my opponents have criticized me for proposing, in my Strategic Defense Initiative plan, a technological instead of a political solution to the arms race. I have put my faith in science, my critics say, not co-operation, treaties, and goodwill. Well, abortion is likewise an ideal technological solution. It lets us bypass having to deal with or even think about problems like teenage pregnancy, the feminization of poverty, and promiscuity. Instead, can’t we just bring in the physicians with their scalpels and suction machines? The physicians of this country can build a protective net between us and any unwanted children that might try to slip by into our society.

“Oh yes, I know I’ve been criticized too for amassing large stockpiles of nuclear arms. Some have said that it’s immoral to hold civilians hostage with the threat of total annihilation. Well, putting morality aside, let’s just say that, if we are willing, in the national interest, to annihilate women and children overseas, what can keep us from destroying children here if they oppose our interests? Widespread abortion is totally consistent with my policy on nuclear arms.