Volume > Issue > A Private's Affair

A Private’s Affair

OLD PRIEST, NEW PRIEST

By Brent T. Zeringue | February 2002
Brent T. Zeringue owns a hardware store in Destrehan, Louisiana, and is the founder and coordinator of KEPHA, an organization of fathers and sons promoting the Catholic faith through apologetics, brotherhood, charity, mortification, and prayer.

Yag Nam, a dyslexic soldier, is a man who never lived in a closet. Yag believes that a private’s private behavior is his own business (though he always expresses his behavior publicly on St. Patrick’s Day). But something is bothering Yag. He has approached young Fr. Logicus, the new priest assigned to Yag’s Bay Area church, to hear his confession. Let’s eavesdrop on the confession. (Ed. Note: In real life, revealing another’s confession constitutes an excommunicable offense. But this is only satire, not real life.)

Yag: (kneeling behind the screen) Bless me, father. I am Yag Nam. I have erred.

Fr. Logicus: You what?

Yag: I erred. Blundered. Okay, I had a behavioral miscalculation.

Fr. Logicus: You mean you sinned?

Yag: I suppose you could say that.

Fr. Logicus: It would help if you could say that.

Yag: Well…uh…it’s just that…um…the old pastor —

Fr. Logicus: You mean Fr. Harry See?

Yag: Yeah. Fr. See would never call it sin.

Enjoyed reading this?

READ MORE! REGISTER TODAY

SUBSCRIBE

You May Also Enjoy

What Part of "Is" Don't They Understand?

Meet Reverend Ian Protestus, R.I.P. as he is commonly called, who left the Catholic Church ten years ago and holds a doctorate from Rapture University.

Socrates Meets the Modern World (or, the Myth of Progress)

Socrates stands on a street corner in Have It Square in Camp Rich, Massachusetts, looking…

Sexual Confusion at Kinsey Elementary School

Mary Lee Do-It, a once-hyphenated and twice-divorced mother of two, recently received her degree in…