Volume > Issue > A Private's Affair

A Private’s Affair

OLD PRIEST, NEW PRIEST

By Brent T. Zeringue | February 2002
Brent T. Zeringue owns a hardware store in Destrehan, Louisiana, and is the founder and coordinator of KEPHA, an organization of fathers and sons promoting the Catholic faith through apologetics, brotherhood, charity, mortification, and prayer.

Yag Nam, a dyslexic soldier, is a man who never lived in a closet. Yag believes that a private’s private behavior is his own business (though he always expresses his behavior publicly on St. Patrick’s Day). But something is bothering Yag. He has approached young Fr. Logicus, the new priest assigned to Yag’s Bay Area church, to hear his confession. Let’s eavesdrop on the confession. (Ed. Note: In real life, revealing another’s confession constitutes an excommunicable offense. But this is only satire, not real life.)

Yag: (kneeling behind the screen) Bless me, father. I am Yag Nam. I have erred.

Fr. Logicus: You what?

Yag: I erred. Blundered. Okay, I had a behavioral miscalculation.

Fr. Logicus: You mean you sinned?

Yag: I suppose you could say that.

Fr. Logicus: It would help if you could say that.

Yag: Well…uh…it’s just that…um…the old pastor —

Fr. Logicus: You mean Fr. Harry See?

Yag: Yeah. Fr. See would never call it sin.

Enjoyed reading this?

READ MORE! REGISTER TODAY

SUBSCRIBE

You May Also Enjoy

Infinite Monkey Theorem

I hated myself for helping the ape. I hated the pleasure his development gave me, like I was a god lifting this furry mute from stupidity.

Wheat of Lions

Guards tied some of the condemned to posts, while others — presumably the fleetest — were left loose so the lions could chase them for added sport.

A Trialogue With C.S. Lewis, Martin Luther & Thomas Aquinas

The scene: C.S. Lewis is sitting alone late at night at his big oak desk…