Sexual Confusion at Kinsey Elementary School
INFORMATION OVERLOAD FOR KIDS
Mary Lee Do-It, a once-hyphenated and twice-divorced mother of two, recently received her degree in Human Sexuality and was hired by Dr. Paul Bearer, principal of Kinsey Elementary School, to instruct the school’s older students in the modern practice of safe and hygienic sex. We join her sixth-grade class, already in session.
Ms. Do-It: (opening a small package) This, class, is a condom. And condoms are our friends. They are an excellent protection against unsafe sex and unwanted pregnancy. You may have heard them called “rubbers.” They come in many shapes and colors. Why, there are even candy-flavored condoms. Yes, Chiquita?
Chiquita: Ms. Do-It, I think I almost had one last night.
Do-It: Last night?
Chiquita: My family went to this restaurant and the waitress asked if we wanted any condom mints with our food.
You May Also Enjoy
Here he is — the wonderful troublemaker, the gadfly of Athens who makes difficulties everywhere, especially where life is too easy for thought or thought too easy for honesty.
This fictional piece uses exact quotes of the real-life Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood.
I hated myself for helping the ape. I hated the pleasure his development gave me, like I was a god lifting this furry mute from stupidity.