
Sexual Confusion at Kinsey Elementary School
INFORMATION OVERLOAD FOR KIDS
Mary Lee Do-It, a once-hyphenated and twice-divorced mother of two, recently received her degree in Human Sexuality and was hired by Dr. Paul Bearer, principal of Kinsey Elementary School, to instruct the school’s older students in the modern practice of safe and hygienic sex. We join her sixth-grade class, already in session.
Ms. Do-It: (opening a small package) This, class, is a condom. And condoms are our friends. They are an excellent protection against unsafe sex and unwanted pregnancy. You may have heard them called “rubbers.” They come in many shapes and colors. Why, there are even candy-flavored condoms. Yes, Chiquita?
Chiquita: Ms. Do-It, I think I almost had one last night.
Do-It: Last night?
Chiquita: My family went to this restaurant and the waitress asked if we wanted any condom mints with our food.
You May Also Enjoy
Ed. Note: It may surprise our readers to hear that shortly after his controversial visit…
An example of a powerful ruler who should be like a caring elder but seems more bent on crushing dissent comes from an unexpected source.
I hated myself for helping the ape. I hated the pleasure his development gave me, like I was a god lifting this furry mute from stupidity.