In 2018 the American Spectator published an essay of mine which included a list of 185 songs I had identified as music that promotes marriage, not just enduring love but also forgiveness and reconciliation within marriage (the list is linked at the bottom of this post). Like most of us, I listen to music but am not in the music business. Moreover, I don’t spend much time listening to music created after 1990 or, until recently, to country music. So, undoubtedly, this list of 185 could be expanded to include such music. Indeed, about 150 of the 185 songs are from before 1970, which is a function of my limited musical interests rather than an objective assessment of all music. Thus, I am not in a position to say that before a certain date, such as 1970 (and the Sexual Revolution), more music promoted marriage than after that date. What do you think?

Before I wrote my essay I had read a statement in 2015 by Ellen Wilson Fielding, longtime senior editor of the Human Life Review and onetime contributing editor to Crisis. She wrote, in the aftermath of the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage, “What we need is repeated contemplation of the wellsprings of true marriage and family — not just as encountered in theology but also artistically, in the novels, movies, and writing of the past.” I intended my essay to demonstrate that music should be on our list of various types of artistry that address marriage in a positive way.

Seventy songs on my list had titles or lyrics that are wholly about marriage. They include the following 16 (in alphabetical order), and I have identified some of the covers of these songs. Of these 16, I particularly like the ones that describe a long married life with children: Kisses Sweeter Than Wine and Memories Are Made of This.

Blue Room—Perry Como (1948), Ella Fitzgerald (1956), Bing Crosby (1956);
Christmas Bride – Ray Conniff (1959);
Dear Future Husband – Meghan Trainor (2015);
Hawaiian Wedding Song—Bing Crosby (1937); Andy Williams (1958), Elvis Presley (1961), Tammy Wynette (1976);
I’ll Be with You in Apple Blossom Time – The Andrews Sisters (1941), Barry Manilow (1994), Emmy Rossum (2013);
It’s De-Lovely – Cole Porter (1936); Robbie Williams in movie De-Lovely (2004);
Kisses Sweeter Than Wine – Jimmie Rodgers (1957), Frivolous (2005), Jefferson Starship (2008);
Marry Me – Dolly Parton (2001);
Marry Me – Train (2010), Martina McBride (2012);
Memories Are Made of This – Dean Martin (1955); The Drifters (1966); Anne Murray (1993); Johnny Cash (1996); Dean Martin (2006);
The Anniversary Song – originally 1880; Pat Boone (1958), Tom Jones (1977), Willie Nelson (2014);
The Chapel of Love—The Dixie Cups (1964), Bette Midler (1972), Elton John (1994);
Wedding Song (There Is Love)—Paul Stookey (1971);
Two Sleepy People—Bob Hope/Shirley Ross duet (1938); Art Garfunkel (1992); Carly Simon/John Travolta (1997); Norah Jones/Seth MacFarlane (2011);
True Love–Cole Porter sung by Bing Crosby/Grace Kelley duet (1956), Patsy Cline (1961), Connie Francis (1963), George Harrison (1976), Elton John/Kiki Dee (1993), Neil Diamond (1998);
Waitin’ on a Woman—Brad Paisley (2008).

About 115 of the songs on my list do not have a title or lyrics that are wholly about marriage. There may be only a word or two that indicates that the song is about marriage — and I’ve indicated in the spreadsheet what those words are. They include: altar, anniversary (unless it could be birthday or first date), (wedding) band, bride, chapel, church, church bells, engagement, groom, honeymoon, husband, I do, in-law, marriage, married, marital, proposal (to marry), rings (but not if reference may be to a high school ring), ’til death do us part, to have and to hold, vow, wedding, widow(er), widowhood, wife.

Since 2018, I’ve identified 31 additional songs I list here in alphabetical order. (I observe that ten were first released after 1970.)

A Woman Like You–Lee Brice (2012);
Arrivederci Roma—Mario Lanza (1957); many others including Dionne Warwick, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin;
Ballad of a Teenage Queen–Johnny Cash (1958);
Bright Was the Night–Gas House Gang (barbershop quartet) (1992) (“She promised me/She would be my bride”);
Church Bells May Ring—Willows (1956); Shirelles and Four Seasons (1964);
Come Fly with Me—Sinatra (1958) (“a flying honeymoon”);
Doo Wah Diddy–Exciters (1963); Manfred Mann (1964) (“Wedding bells are gonna chime”);
Grow Old with Me–John Lennon (1984); Mary Chapin Carpenter (1995);
Holy–Justin Bieber (2020) (“Running to the altar like a track star…Formalize the union in communion”);
I Do Take You –The Three Degrees (1970);
I’ll Buy That Dream–big bands and others (1944/45);
I Love My Wife–Sinatra (1976);
I’m in Love with You–Pat Boone (1956);
I’m Sittin’ on Top of the World—earliest 1926; later by Dean Martin, Doris Day, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles;
I Swear–John Michael Montgomery (1993) (“Until death do us part”);
I Will, I Swear, I Do–Caitlin Quisenberry (2021);
Oh What It Seemed to Be—Sinatra (1946); Willie Nelson (1994);
Lida Rose–Buffalo Bills (barbershop quartet) in The Music Man (1962) (“I can hear the chapel bell chime…I’ll pop the question”);
Mama Loves Papa–Bing Crosby (1957);
She’s in Love with the Boy–Trisha Yearwood (1991);
Sugar Shack–Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs (1963);
Sweet and Lovely–charted by five artists in 1931 alone;
The Girl That I Marry—Irving Berlin (1946);
Things I’d Like to Say–New Colony Six (1968) (“I was hoping that with our love/We would get married someday”);
Under the Bamboo Tree–1902; Judy Garland (1944 Meet Me in St. Louis) (“I like-a change your name”);
Wake the Town and Tell the People–Bing Crosby, Les Baxter and Mindy Carson (all in 1955);
Wedding Bells (Are Breaking Up That Old Gang of Mine)–Gene Austin (1929); Four Aces (1954);
When We Get Married—Dreamlovers (1961); Intruders (1970);
Why Should the Fire Die?–Nickel Creek (2005) (“Why should the fire die?/My mom and dad kept theirs alive”);
You’re Lookin’ at Country–Loretta Lynn (1971)

Let me call particular attention to this one: My Hero (from 1909 operetta The Chocolate Soldier: “Oh happy wedding day! Come, I love you only/My heart is true”). My maternal grandmother, a mother of seven, born 1891, married 1912, played this song on piano and sang it as late as age 91 when she died. It stirs my soul to recall this. The lyrics and music are here.

There are many, many songs that, while being beautiful love songs — indeed some of them are used at weddings — did not make my cut because they do not include language that makes clear they are about married or engaged love, or forgiveness/reconciliation in the context of marriage or engagement. Music that addresses eternal/forever/everlasting/true love, or promises without a reference to marriage didn’t qualify because life is full of unkept promises. The expression of love, however deep, without reference to any vows did not qualify. As the duet in the song Hey Paula (1963) sang, I want to marry you too / True love means planning a life for two. And as Beyoncé sang in 2008, If you like it/Put a ring on it!, music about eternal love might be referring to a relationship other than marriage (e.g., cohabitation). Similarly, music that refers to reconciliation without referring to marriage is insufficient since cohabiting couples and couples who are dating also experience reconciliation.

Here’s what I’d like to see happen with many such songs. I’d like to see a change in the lyrics, a few words perhaps, that would make them eligible for inclusion in my list of songs about married love—and have their new lyrics lawfully licensed. To give you an idea, here are 24 candidates (again, in alphabetical order):

Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life—Jeanette MacDonald/Nelson Eddy duet (1910);
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough—Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell duet (1967); Diana Ross (1970);
Be My Love—Mario Lanza (1950); Connie Francis (1964); Jerry Vale (1964); Cheryl Bentyne (2006);
Besame Mucho—1932; multiple artists including The Beatles (1962); Diana Krall (2001);
Betcha by Golly Wow—The Stylistics (1972);
Come Softly to Me—The Fleetwoods (1959);
Evergreen—Barbra Streisand (1976); Luther Vandross (1994); Kenny Rogers (1996);
Forever and for Always—Shania Twain (2003);
God Gave Me You—Dave Barnes (2010); Blake Shelton (2011);
I Love How You Love Me—The Paris Sisters (1961); Bobby Vinton (1968); The Lettermen (1969);
Lady—Kenny Rogers (1980);
Let Me Try Again—Sinatra (1973);
One Alone—Romberg’s operetta The Desert Song (1926);
Polka Dots and Moonbeams—Sinatra (1940); John Denver (1976); Bob Dylan (2016);
Reunited—Peaches & Herb (1978);
Second Time Around—Bing Crosby (1960); Sinatra (1960); Rosemary Clooney (1986); Barry Manilow (1998); Barbra Streisand (2003);
Side by Side—Bing Crosby (1927); Mitch Miller (1949); Kay Starr (1953); Pat & Shirley Boone (1959); Steve Lawrence/Eydie Gormé (1960); Ray Charles/Betty Carter (1961);
Stand by Your Man—Tammy Wynette (1968);
The Best Things Happen When You’re Dancing—Irving Berlin in film White Christmas (1954);
Through the Years—Kenny Rogers (1981);
Together Forever—Rick Astley (1988);
With You I’m Born Again—Billy Preston/Syreeta Wright duet (1979)

Worthy of your attention in this regard is Long Ago and Far Away, written by Kern and Gershwin for the 1944 movie Cover Girl. Fully four versions of the song made the charts in 1944! They were by Helen Forrest/Dick Haymes, Jo Stafford, Perry Como, and Bing Crosby. There’ve been innumerable covers since by, for example, Mario Lanza, Johnny Matthis, Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, and Rod Stewart (2005). Might a song like this have its lyrics changed?

Here’s another example: Chris de Burgh’s 1986 hit Lady in Red. It could easily be revised as Lady I’ll Wed, while maintaining some references to wearing red. Indeed, de Burgh says he wrote the song about his wife (and the memory he had of seeing her in a red dress).

A Prize

I would like to see a prize created for new music that promotes marriage, including forgiveness and reconciliation, a prize with enough money to provide a financial incentive (not just an honorific) to compose and play such music, contrary to the current culture. It must be good music that will capture the imagination of the young. It will hopefully be music that will infuse the culture. Call it “the Cana Prize.”

Winners of these prizes, like winners on some long-running, nationally televised talent shows, would receive contracts with vocalists and bands to record the music, and with music companies to make the music available for purchase. Over time, there could be multiple prizes inaugurated, such as a prize for various genres, a prize for duets, a prize for anniversary music, a prize for music concerning married grandparents, a prize for music concerning widowhood, a prize for an old song with new lyrics, etc.

The money for the initial prizes would come from loans. The money could be repaid through royalties.

Conclusion

Returning to the suggestion of Ellen Wilson Fielding on our need for “repeated contemplation of the wellsprings of true marriage and family” in art forms, let me conclude with a line by Irving Berlin (1888-1989), who wrote 1,500 songs, including the scores for 20 Broadway shows and for 15 movie films: Say it with music/ Beautiful music.

[A link to my song list in the American Spectator is here.]